the bounds of the RPC, of course).
Small firms and solo practitioners now
have a cost-effective way to compete
with larger firms, so the medium car-
ries great potential for leveling the
playing field. Practitioners can easily
create and post materials designed to
professionally and articulately inform
the public of their skills and services.
Then there’s Dan.
The video posted by Pittsburgh
criminal defense attorney Daniel Mues-
sig is heavy on bluntly communicating
his skills and services, but perhaps
a little light on the professionalism. 3
To be fair, it clearly conveys who Dan
is looking to serve and states how his
experience and enthusiasm can be used
to help clients stay out of jail to . . . um,
enjoy their freedom a bit more, I guess.
Without providing too many spoilers,
the video includes quotes like, “Conse-
quences. They sure suck, don’t they?”
and, “Laws are arbitrary.” I don’t know
much about the practice of criminal
law, but I imagine there is a subset of
defendants out there to whom this has
However, it is the opening sequence
that is truly noteworthy. Perhaps one
benefit of associating with other attorneys is one of them can take a look at
your video and say, “Hey, I really don’t
think that’s a good idea.” It appears no
one was there for Dan, and we all benefit. The web address4 is included in the
notes, and is well worth your three-and-a-half minutes.
SO YOU WANT TO GO TO LAW
I remember when I first decided to
go to law school, I asked an uncle for
advice. He was a successful attorney
working at a big firm in Detroit, and I
thought if anyone I knew had pearls of
wisdom about a legal career, he would.
And he did. “Don’t do it, Jimmy,” he
said. “Go and do something produc-
tive with your life.”
Not the advice I was hoping for,
and I obviously didn’t heed it. How-
ever, the woman in this computer-
animated (and voiced) video5 found
someone with even harsher, but hilari-
ous, advice: a practicing attorney who
is rather disenchanted with his life.
Like my uncle, he also is attempting to
dissuade the woman from attending.
Again, I don’t want to give away too
much, but in response to her interest
in his smartphone, he replies, “I do not
like my Blackberry. I want to torture
it until it begs me to kill it. Do you
know I’m required to check it every six
hours, 24 hours a day?”
A man walks into a curio shop in a
large city. After a few minutes of casually walking around, he spots a small,
beautiful brass rat at the back of a shelf
of assorted knickknacks. He picks it up
COMEBACKS FOR LAWYER JOKES >
It’s a lawyer’s social nightmare: you’re at a party, you mention your
profession, and the unflattering jokes start coming non-stop. But if you
object, you have no sense of humor. So do you have to just stand there
and take it? Not anymore! This little book has comebacks for over 100 of
the most annoying lawyer jokes commonly directed at attorneys. Now
lawyers can shut down those would-be comedians before they get to the
punchline. Here’s how it works.
Why are lawyers so good at
Before they say: “Because they stoop
You say: “They know their way around
What’s the difference between a
lawyer and an onion?
Before they say: “No one cries when
they cut up a lawyer.”
You say: “Lawyers don’t have thin
Why did the lawyer cross the road?
Before they say: “To get to the accident on the other side.”
You say: “To negotiate with the other side.”
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a skunk?
Before they say: “Nobody wants to hit a skunk.”
You say: “With a lawyer, nothing is ever black and white.”
Comebacks for Lawyer Jokes: The Restatement of Retorts, by Malcolm Kushner,
2015, Museum of Humor.com Press
“Who should I examine first, you or your lawyer?”